15 Kinky Things to do in Bed – Different Levels of Kinkiness

Kinky sex ideas and kinky things to do in bed are becoming more and more popular nowadays. I believe all the information that is now available for all of us, starting from books like “Fifty Shades of Gray” and different levels of blogs, expert opinions, podcasts, and movies have all opened up a wide range of possibilities and ideas for our love lives.

What does kinky mean?

According to Collins Dictionary kinky is described as “If you describe something, usually a sexual practice or preference, as kinky, you mean that it is unusual and would be considered strange by most people.”
I believe that kinkiness is a subject matter – for one person, kinky things to do in bed could be using blindfolds, for others, it’s not kinky at all and only some hardcore BDSM element is worthy of the word “kinky”. Let’s explore the world of kinkiness.

Is kinkiness popular?

Well, statics show that some of your friends have most likely tried some kinky things at least once. According to the Sexual Exploration in America Study, “Nearly half of this sample expressed interest in at least one paraphilic category, and approximately one-third had had experience with such a practice at least once”. And it’s a natural human behavior to learn and explore new things.
And according to NBCNews, “‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ was the best-selling book of the decade. The series, which includes “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “Fifty Shades Darker” and “Fifty Shades Freed,” sold 35 million print and e-book copies from 2011-19.” And, well, if you have read or heard about the “Fifty Shades of Gray” series, you know that there’s a lot of kinky stuff there and people are extremely interested in it.

How do I initiate new kinky things to do in bed?

If you start by saying, “Can we try this or that…” or, “Why are we not doing things that others do?” I don’t think it will work and you will most likely get an angry face looking back at you.
One way you could bring the topic up in a positive way is to say, “Remember when we were doing this…” or, “Remember when we were in that place doing that…, it felt so good… How do you think we could bring it back? Would you like to try it again?”
But if you would like to initiate new things in bed – my suggestion is to write it down as a love note. My husband does this and there are several good things about it:

You have the chance to read the whole note and if the message is clear enough, your partner will also explain why exactly he/she thinks that it’s worth a try.
If you are reading it and not just listening, you can Google a bit more information about this new action.
You have time to think about this new activity.

Another great way of bringing new things to the bedroom is trying games for couples – which allows you both to have fun. 🙂
Our most extensive game is “Box of Burning Desires”, which includes 170 intimate questions, 100 foreplay and sex activities, and also 36 fantasy scenarios.
And our bestseller is our very first game, “Sex Memory Game”, with 18+ kinky photos, which quickly puts you in a naughty mood.
We have also prepared 40 free printable conversation starters for couples, which includes 10 spicy questions about sex, so check out our article, print and cut it out and have a fun conversation with your partner. questions-to-ask-your-spouse How to initiate new things in bed
But let’s dig into the endless options of trying kinky things:

5 light-level kinky things to do in bed

Let’s start with some easy level kinky ideas to explore. And as I mentioned, some might think this is not kinky at all, but we all have our own understanding of kinky and sexual preferences, so let’s get to the point.

1. Use blindfolds with foreplay

We love to include blindfolds with foreplay and sex as it allows more variety and you can get even more playful.

Start with a foreplay move– tasty food and blindfold

Combine two pleasures of life – eating and sex. Put the blindfold on your partner and tease her/him with different tasty foods. What is interesting is that when you close your eyes and relax, you can actually taste much more as your senses are stronger. It’s an intimate moment.

Play with sensations – ice and massage candle

Being blindfolded heightens the other senses. You can play some temperature games, it’s a fantastic foreplay move. We have used also added this idea in our games, both the “Sex Memory Game” and our romantic game “Love Battleship”. Kinky-things-to-do-in-bed-ice-cube
The massage candle is a great way of bringing some heat and relaxation to your muscles after a hard day.

Give a sensual and erotic massage while your partner is being blindfolded.

Being relaxed is crucial to make foreplay a pleasant and playful experience. And a sensual massage is one of the best tricks to help your partner and yourself be relaxed. By giving a sensual massage to your partner, you not only recreate the intensity of the early days of your relationship, but you also reaffirm that you want to spend time with them and give them your attention and efforts. I have collected 6 tips on how to make a sensual massage super-hot. Check the article here. Kinky-things-to-do-in-bed-massage-candle-hot

2. Experiment with power-play, light version

Power-plays can also be done on different levels. Let’s start with a light version. My favorite one is where you put a blindfold on your partner, tie-up his/her hands, and perform oral pleasure. And afterward, continue with some other sex moves. We have added this element in three of our games “Sex Memory Game”, “Love Battleship” and also “Box of Burning Desires”. Kinky-tie-up-and-blindfold

3. Dirty messages

The brain sets off an individual’s sex drive and is considered a more powerful sexual organ than the male and female genital composition. When receiving dirty messages from your lover, it helps you to get in the mood and build anticipation for the evening or any time you will meet your partner. Here is our article about dirty talk in more detail.

Dirty and kinky messages during the day

Send some kinky and naughty messages, here are some examples:

Expectations for the evening, some naughty GIFs. Some ideas: “I can’t stop sucking on lollipops today for some reason…” “I think about you a little more than I should”. Get more ideas on our article collecting 19 naughty quotes.
Love message about the things you have done together, giving details about what you liked the most and what you would like to do more often.
Write down a little scenario on how you would like your time together to look. Describing in detail how/where you would like to touch each other, kiss, dance, etc.

Dirty talk during the foreplay and sex

Whisper some naughty and passionate words into your partner’s ears. It can be in different levels, like:

Romantic – I wanna feel your strong/gentle arms. I miss you so much. I want you badly. Let’s make love.
Naughty – I wanna feel you inside me. I wanna be inside of you. I want to taste you, eat you out.
Kinky – I want to fuck you so hard right now. I will drain your balls. Fuck me hard.

4. Practice oral pleasure and fulfill each other’s wishes

Oral pleasure can be so much fun, intimate, and sensual. Trust each other, communicate, and practice – key things for amazing oral pleasure.

Some tips on oral pleasure:

Start with your breath to stimulate the nerve endings, which works well for both women and men.
Use also your fingers while performing oral pleasure, but remember that dry fingering would be the same as having a blowjob with teeth, neither of you would enjoy it.
Prostate play – when you go down on him, try to also gently massage the area between his anus and balls. Hint – apply some lube or use saliva on your finger before massaging this area, it will make it even more pleasurable.
Sit on his face – this is a great way of receiving oral pleasure. It opens up a new angle for him and gives you the power to control the process. This is an activity we both love, so we have included it in our “Sex Memory Game” and also “Box of Burning Desires” game. Enjoy!

5. Play some sex games – light kinky version of games

Couples who play together, stay together. Games can be a fun and playful way to try kinky things to do in bed. For a light version, I would suggest the “Love Battleship” game (available also on Amazon) as it’s mostly romantic, but at the same time, it includes light kinky elements, like blindfolds, ice cubes, temperature play and many more (50 foreplay and sex ideas).

5 moderate-level kinky things to do in bed

1. Mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation can be very sensual and intimate. I cannot stress it enough – communication is key in every relationship. So, before bringing in any new action to your sex life – talk about it first.
Masturbate and blindfold your partner – it’s a great way of getting over the self-confidence issues you may be facing, when you can’t see your partner watching you, you can feel more comfortable and focus on your pleasure while your partner enjoys the show.

2. Sex using adult toys

Adult toys can be a great addition to your sex life. Here are my favorite ways of using sex toys while having sex with your partner:

Sex with vibrating cock-ring. It’s a great pleasure, especially for the woman as using the cock-ring during sex, she gets stimulation inside her vagina (by his penis) and also clitoris (by vibrating cock-ring). This combination is mind-blowing. Enjoy. We have included this activity in our game “Box of Burning Desires”.
Butt-plug can also be a great addition to sex with your partner, but butt-play is something that needs good preparation.
Put a vibrating toy between the clitoris and pillow while performing oral pleasure.

3. Pull her hair

Men, we love to feel your power. This dominant move of pulling a woman’s hair can be adjusted to different levels (you can grab your partner’s hair and just slightly pull or add more power to it). From my experience, it’s important to already be in a naughty mood to move into some BDSM activities. One thing is for sure – communicate before introducing this kinky activity in your sex life.
Important! Don’t grab her hair at the ends and pull, it could be extremely painful. Grab her hair at the base of her neck and scalp. At the beginning, start with some light pulling.
Practical suggestion – the most convenient positions to grab hair are:

Blowjob
Spooning
Doggy style

4. Watch porn together

Watching porn together can also be fun and interesting. Explore some ideas. Hint for it – search for some woman-friendly and/or amateur videos – they are more close to reality as the professionals are more like actors and sometimes it’s just made to “look good” and is actually far from reality. kinky-things-to-do-in-bed-watch-porn

5. Anal-play

Anal sex requires a lot of warming-up in most cases. You have to get into the mood and go through foreplay to get there. Massage and warm-up the anus before entering it, but even before this step, it’s better to massage the area of the lower back (just above the butt crack) for 15 minutes.
Lube is a must in anal sex.

Important

If you use some sex toys in anal play – always use the ones that are specially made for anal-sex. Anal muscles are one of the strongest muscles in the body and you can easily lose your toy (which is not made for anal sex) inside the body and the only way of getting it out would be by visiting the doctor. anal-sex-position

5 BDSM-level kinky things to do in bed

I won’t touch onto hardcore BDSM things as I believe it’s very specific. There are so many different fetishes in the world, so it would be hard to put them all in one list. These 5 upper-level kinky things to do in bed are only for partners who have full trust in each other, and are, at the same time, adventurous. 🙂

1. Pegging/strap-on

Pegging is when a woman uses a strap-on harness and dildo to anally penetrate a man. This activity is very intimate and sensual – a strap-on dildo stimulates little sweet spots (prostate) or the so-called P-spot. It gives a man a new level of orgasm. We have added two activities in our “Box of Burning Desires” game with ideas on how to perform pegging. pegging-sex-position

2. Spanking

Spanking can also be adjusted to different levels, starting from some light spanks, more like tickles, and moving onto some painful ones. You can use a whip or belt for spanking or just your hand. kinky-things-to-do-in-bed-spanking

3. Threesome/group sex

Threesome or group sex is one of the most common sexual fantasies. It could also be adjusted in different levels, like:

Couples having sex with their own partners and just watching each other (no touching).
Threesome with a third partner who is just performing oral sex.
Threesome with the whole package.
Swinging with partners – when you invite another couple for sex and switch partners.

One thing is important – set the rules and agree to them before doing any of these options. And agree on a safe word.

4. Golden shower

Golden shower is one of the BDSM types of how to show submission and dominance. Golden-shower-in-sex

5. Submission and dominance

Submission and dominance are one of the popular BDSM elements—when one partner is a master (or mistress) and the other one is a slave. It also can be played on different levels, but the main thing is that you both enjoy it.
Some elements used:

Spanks
Rude words – being disrespected verbally
Being made to wear a collar
Having hair grabbed painfully.

Conclusion

I will repeat once again – communicate with your partner and do it in a relaxed atmosphere. If you are stressed and still thinking about your daily tasks and problems, your brain will not open up to new ideas. That’s why we suggest performing a sensual massage to put you both in a romantic mood for playing naughty games.

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Aggie

Bloger

Married to Charles, mother of two. I work in finance, but currently I’m on maternity leave. I’ll be writing about what it’s like to be in a relationship both as a woman and a mother, while at the same time developing my career. And also, of course, about some of the fun games that we’ve thought of.